I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. Pointer much appreciated, though. Well, time for some fun questions: would you be telling him about it just to alleviate your own guilt? Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. His imagination could go haywire over that one. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? I am giving him space to think. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Personally I don't believe in marriage. One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. My husband wasnt home at the time. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. find me on and follow me on. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. Wow! But the guilt is killing me. I am sure this girl knows he is married. I don't know if he wants to still be friends with her on FB or not. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Oh, I see. Wouldn't you? Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. Thank you. The moment feelings are involved then youve cheated. (I wonder why.) At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. I had only taken three years of piano lessons while still a teenager, and here I was in my late 40s studying piano again. I'll see you over there. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. It is the gateway to another feeling. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. And, he did little favors for me. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. Then you must be doing it wrong. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. I gave up playing tennis with him. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. I am the same way. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. What if your husband ever found out? Don't feel guilty. So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. Don't have an account? I went that night to a bar and began to get very drunk. I was devastated. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? I know true remorse when I see it. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. However, if it doesn't close itself through sustained inactivity soon then I'll probably close it myself (as the actress said to the bishop). I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, This one by far has lasted the longest. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. Yup. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! How is that beneficial to him? Period. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. Why would you want to do that? Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. Not Opening Up To You Anymore Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. focus on you and your DH. You reap what you sow. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. Later, he tried to make out and I said no because I felt it was wrong.I told him I needed a uber. Should I ask him for gas money? I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. What isn't, is It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! Go cold turkey. That left just me, the man and another woman. Yesterday night we went out to drink. I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. Pre-kiss, the straight guys none of whom have ever kissed another man before are asked where society hasanyrules for interaction between heterosexual men. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. What is he supposed to do with this information? Okay if it was me who did that even thou I dont drink Ill first ask him as if its someone else who did it, like a friend or a colleague and if he overracts then think again but if hes all cool about it then break ice. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? Will the guilt ever go away? We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. You're the worst! But for me, it was. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. I couldnt take it so I told him. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. 5. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. You were no exception. [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?! Hi Scope! reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. Except with other truth-seekers. Why? Forget about it! One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. Guess what his response was? I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. Confide in someone you trust. :-). I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. / Dyathinkhesaurus? 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. I agree with you about her being straight forward and telling her husband about the kiss and not holding back any secrets. Not just to you. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. Sums it up nicely. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. Again - your choice. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! I'm mortified. It ended up leading to a follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. View related questions: reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A Its more like an excuse for cheating. Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. I had three you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. I think my husband will not forgive me. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. PostedNovember 9, 2014 He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). Lees theory has a big vulnerability. That's a long time for kissing. She may say that. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. - GET THE FUCK OUT. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? Yes it hurts.. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. He has morals. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. Foxie: There was something missing in my marriage. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. You lied to me for 2 years? Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. What am I going to do? If I some how knew which thread to follow to I'd go. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. It was just a kiss. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Hi SoulMate! And I have never cheated myself. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. 15 votes, 25 comments. (Ta-daaaa!) Guilt protects our relationships. he said if i started making out with another girl, hed be into it, but if i started getting carried away and disappearing with This recently happened to me. What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. I felt sick! I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Boyfriend kissed another girl while drunk? If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. I was very drunk. If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you: Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. You wanna tell your husband? I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. "but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. " I could tell that he had a thing for you. reader, missbunbury+, writes (25 October 2005): A If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. "I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses." But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. Are you sure you didnt have sex with him/her? (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. 4 days ago. It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. Why stab your partner in the heart, just to see if the relationship will still survive? v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. And a stitch in time saves nine. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. :-*. But I can't leave my job. I say tell him. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. And he grabbed my waist!. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. female Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. male So she left after a couple of replies. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. I'm so confused. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. ;-p Because I already had some unresolved feelings for this guy and I let him kiss me and used the fact that I was drunk as an excuse. I just knew it. In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. That was crazy' and other awkward things. instead of: reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A She had gone to bed. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. You can't fake that . If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. Other way around. If he is like me, its a choice. JavaScript is disabled. Biological ones. Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing.
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